It Cannot Be Always Sunny

I will tell you a secret: I love sunny days better that rainy ones, but there is something magical about the rain. The clouds in the sky, enormous, dark grey, the sunset’s game of light seems to prepare us for a lullaby, and the noise of airplanes passing by, they are just thunders, with weird intervals, sometimes continuosly thundering, sometimes breaking the noise with silents, and the lightenings so bright, the light turning on and off illuminating the dark as turning on the night and the thoughts.

My little dog is afraid and he asks me to be picked up, he feels safer in her mummy’s arms. The cat sleeps as ignoring what is happening around. I swing in my hammock and I am too lazy to get up, seeking that pleasure to close my eyes and forget the world around me.

I have been depressed lately, probably sad, missing the people I love, I did not cook, I slept a lot when I could, I went for walks and sunsets to feel better, I searched for that contact with nature, the only one to give me relieve. I confess that I failed to shower, who does it care? Who is going to see me during this corona virus? I did gardening, mowing the grass, planting cactus, cleaning up flower beds from weeds, I looked at the rain from the window and even cried.

It is easier to cry when it is raining, nobody is going to notice it, and it is like alleviating the pain, getting it out, just as screaming inside, but the rain is mystical. Staring at the sky and watching the beauty, the big clouds, masses of foam, curves, circles, bubbles, low hanging in the sky, and the ray of light coming from the sun, that passes through the holes between the clouds, shy, and the timid light creating a huge rainbow.

The eyes smile at the sight of the arched, colorful, stunning display, and makes me want to live again, like a wake up, for that life is always colorful, and even the darkest black is life, and the beauty of it is the changing colors, it cannot be always sunny, that is my thought for tonight.

DID YOU KNOW COCONUT OIL IS BAD FOR YOUR SKIN?

The coconut oil has high content of fat. It is great if ingested, unless you are on a diet, or you have high cholesterol. In cosmetics, coconut oil is never that good.

I used to make masks for my hair believing it was going to nutrish them and have great shiny hair….WRONG… the fat molecules are so big that they cannot penetrate the hair, so the effect is more drier hair.

I used to think it was great for the skin…WRONG…it will not penetrate the skin, it will clog the pores. If you purchase a soap made of coconut oil, you waste your money, unless it is mixed with another oil and the coconut oil is a small percentage, same for shampoo, and body lotion.

The best oils for skin care: shea butter, olive oil, almond oil, and avocado oil. Coconut oils in soaps have the purpose to help with bubbles. People do not like soaps without bubbles…. WRONG…less bubbles, the better.

Ocean Natural Soap is a good brand for skin’s products. The motto is “If I do not put it on my skin, I do not put it in my soap.”

We care about the health of the skin, our soaps have 100% olive oil, or 90% olive oil and 10% coconut oils for bubbles. Our goal is to sell to prepared customers, who understand about health, organic, and beauty. We desire your happiness with quality products.

Our soaps may not be so colorful either, because we refuse to use artificial colorants. There are some half way naturals, but we like 100% natural. A soap made with natural products will never be bright in color, and the natural color will be changed by the properties of the lye in the process of making soap.

The pic above shows the Sea Strawberry Soap, made with 90% olive oil, 10% coconut oil, and the handmade almond milk contributing to make your skin soft and hydrating. As you can see the bright pink of the strawberry is lost in the soap making process, the next pic shows the dandelion soap, a beautiful natural green.

A strawberry soap or a dandelion do not smell as strawberry or dandelion, that is just the content for vitamin C or other nutrients present in the used vegetable or fruit for the benefit of the skin. The natural fresh fragrance of the soap is made up by the oils, and they smell good in their natural fragrance.

Some companies add essential oils, and it is right to believe that a fragrance is good and you want to smell good after the shower, but be aware that essential oils are not always 100% organic. We use a USDA certified oil for our products. We have Sea Strawberry, and Dew of the Sea, with Tea Tree essential oil, and Seagrass Meadows, with Peppermint essential oil for fragrance.

Have a good shopping!

The Fakes

In order for a person to be called psychologist, a master’s degree is needed at least, and in most cases a doctorate.

For all those people who improvise themselves as psychologists, please, give me a break! Do you really want to be one? Go back to school and study for it, or stop it! Do not just concentrate in one mental illness and diagnose everybody with the same one. The spectrum of the psychologist is very broad.

When I was young, I read an entire enciclopedia of psychology, I learned the history, the psychologists, the mental illnesses, and, as a grown up, I purchased different books about psychology, out of curiosity. Do I consider myself a psychologist? No, I am not that ignorant to read about something and consider myself an expert.

The manipulators will try to input information in your mind, making you believe something is wrong with you, and void to recognize the wrong is with them, they will play psychologists, what they are, just serial mental manipulators, insecure, and users, with no feelings, as long they get what they need.

Watch, they are all over! Do they need money? They will exploit all the opportunities and if you have something to give, they will beg faking affection, and when they find someone with more money than you, they will turn their backs, or they will just disappear. In their mind, there is only the way to use you, any other thoughts, does not exist.

Be always you. If you fall in their traps, admit your mistakes, and walk away. They are the wrong, not you, you did not know and failed to see the signs, but when you see them, when you recognize the signs, RUN!

Love Yourself

What is love? You can have a clear vision of what love is only when you are able to love yourself. Love can be different things to different women. Many women have no idea what love is, thus leaving them with no criteria on how they should be loved. As a result of women not knowing what love is, they often end up settling for anything in a relationship.

Before moving forward, there is an important thing to remember: before you can love anyone else, you must love yourself. Love yourself means that you place a high value on yourself. It means that you believe you are worthy of good things. No one is going to value you, unless you value yourself. Feel good about who you are as a person and don’t let anyone take that away from you.

I have met too many women in relationships that are beat down. When I say beat down, I mean mentally, not physically. These women believe that if they do everything right, then their partner will love them in the way they want to be loved. These women are beat down because they have given their all in a relationship, with little to nothing in return. These women are beat down because they have tried their best to change his attitude toward them, but nothing seems to be working.

These women are in a constant struggle to hold on to a man at whatever cost. In her mind, she believes that something must be wrong with her. That can be the only explanation for him not loving her, and no matter how many diets she tries, how many pounds she loses, how clean the house is, how she takes care of the entire house because he cannot do it, she gains more criticism from him.

Don’t allow him to take out his problems on you in an unhealthy, destructive way. The bottom line is that if he didn’t use this excuse, that he would use another. If he really cares about you, then he will be supportive of your endeavors. He should never be giving you hidden ultimatums: “if you do this , then I will love you more, and I would not treat you so bad.”

Many women believe that they do everything possible to please their man that he will give them the love and security that they desire. What about changing the question? Do not ask yourself what is wrong with me, have you thought about that you two may not be made for one another?

A friend was telling me once that if her husband saw her talking to another male, that he would give her the third degree. He controlled how she dressed, where she went, and who she could be friends with. She justified his behavior because she believed her man was just looking out for her best interest. Her happiness started to fade when she realized he was only trying to control her life.

If your mate is jealous, then that means he is insecure. Jealousy is not about love. It is about control. You do not need anyone to limit who you talk to, or to make choices for you, you are not a possession, you are not a trophy in a case. You are a person that knows what is best for you. Do no let anyone manifest their insecurities into your life. Refuse to settle for less than you deserve. Instead to be glad to have a man by your side, you should be looking for good love.

Good love is when you can feel good about a relationship. Good love is when you can be yourself in a relationship. Good love is when your mate is supportive of you, just as you are supportive of him. Bad love is the complete opposite of good love. If you are constantly being demeaned, don’t feel good about yourself, and your physical and emotional needs are always put on the back burner, than that’ s bad love.

Stop blaming everyone and everything else. You have the power to get out of that relationship. You are the one that has allowed him to treat you in this manner. You have to take responsibility for your actions or lack of actions. What’s love got to do with it?

Inspired by Woman to Woman by Martha J. Ross-Rodgers

The Trousseau

The trousseau is an antique Italian tradition of our grandmothers and mothers too, to donate towels, sheets, and all kitchen equipment to the spouse. Being born a female in Italy, in old times, was just a burden for the parents. While male were going to work, providing for themselves, parents had to dote the young girl getting married with real property, usually the house where she was going to live with her husband, and the expensive trousseau, plus kitchen equipment.

After the elementary school, if the girls were not continuing school, almost the totality of them, they were receiving a embroidery frame to learn how to do the needlework, and stitches while playing.So, finished school, the mothers were buying to their young girls, linen or tela of Monza, and they were teaching them to work on their trousseau. This was going to become their priority until they were finding a wealthy husband.

The girls were going to embroider towels, table cloths, sheets, and personal items, curtains, quilts, blankets etc. The wealthier family were going to prepare a trousseau of 12 items for each section, the less fortunate, only 6. The trousseau included crocheted blankets, table clothes, towels with initials and so on. Once finished, they were not going to be washed but preserved inside a wooden trunk.

Who does remember that terrible smell of camphor?

The preservation could take long time, but when the girl was finding a wealthy man, he was invited at lunch, the trunk was going to be opened to show the dote to all his family member and friends.A week before the wedding, all the girlfriends of the spouse were coming to the house, and helping to wash the trousseau by hand, the hard to remove stains were bleached and the sheets or items were hanged under the sun to dry in wire lines.

This was not too long ago, this was my grandmother’s timeframe, before the war. When I was child, time changed a little bit, girls were going to school, so it was my mother and grandmother working on my troisseau. I learned crochet and knitting, during the summers when I was visiting my grandmother every day. I never learned the embroidery art.

I was conversating with other people of my generation and we all have the same problem, we have the trousseau, which takes a lot of room, and we never use it. Mine was washed in the cleaners, for the fine fabric, ironed and packaged. It is still in its original package, worth a life of work, very elaborate, hand made and MADE in ITALY, but what do I do with it?

Today I went through it, like all girls open the trunk, and I felt proud of my grandmother and mother. They had good taste for the times, and I decided to put a table cloth in my kitchen table. Even the every day sheets have a lot of work on them, and are delicate to wash.

I can only take pictures of them and show off. They are too precious to be used, and memories are within them. My grandmother is no longer with us but her legacy is.

Il Corredo

Il corredo e’ una vecchia tradizione italiana delle nostre nonne e mamme, di donare tovaglie, lenzuola e set da tavola alla sposa. Nascere femmina in Italia, ai vecchi tempi, era un peso per i genitori. il maschio andava a lavorare e si poteva mantenere, mentre la femmina aveva bisogno della dote, normalmente un bene immobile dove andare a vivere col marito, la batteria da cucina e il corredo.

Dopo la scuola elementare, se le ragazze non continuavano la scuola, quasi la totalità di esse, gli veniva comprato un telaio da ricamo per imparare a ricamare e lavorare con l’ago.Quindi finita la scuola, le madri compravano stoffe di lino, cantu’, o tela di Monza ed insegnavano loro a lavorare al loro corredo, ovviamente, questa diventava la loro attivita’ principale prima che trovassero il “partito buono”.

Le ragazze ricamavano asciugamani, tovaglie da tavola, lenzuola, coperte, copricoperte, biancheria intima, sottane, tende ecc. Le famiglie più abbienti preparavano 12 set di ogni categoria, quelle meno abbienti circa 6. Il corredo comprendeva tovaglie con iniziali, coperte di uncinetto, lenzuola ricamate e, una volta finite, non venivano lavate, ma conservate in un baule. Chi si ricorda quell’ odore di naftalina?

Sarebbero stati conservati per molto tempo, quando, pero’, la ragazza trovava il partito buono, il futuro sposo veniva invitato a pranzo e il baule veniva aperto per mostrare la dote ai familiari di lui e amici. Una settimana prima del matrimonio, tutte le amiche si riunivano a casa della sposa e lavavano il corredo a mano, per le macchie più testarde si candeggiava e il bucato veniva steso al sole nei fili di ferro.

Non parlo di tanto tempo fa, ma dei tempi di mia nonna, prima della guerra. Da piccola, i tempi erano cambiati, le nuove generazioni andavano a scuola, allora erano mia madre e mia nonna a lavorare al mio corredo. Io ho imparato l’ uncinetto e i ferri durante le estati quando andavo spesso da mia nonna, e, sfortunatamente, mai a ricamare.

Stavo discutendo con altre ragazze e tutte abbiamo lo stesso problema, il corredo che prende tanto spazio, e che non usiamo mai. Il mio e’ stato portato alla pulitura e stirato professionalmente e impacchettato, ancora nella confezione originale. Una vita di lavoro, elaborato, fatto a mano e MADE in ITALY, ma cosa me ne faccio?

Oggi ho aperto i pacchi, proprio come le ragazze aprono il baule e mi sono sentita orgogliosa di mia madre e nonna. Avevano ottimi gusti per i tempi, ed ho deciso di addobbare il mio tavolo con una tovaglia. Anche le lenzuola giornaliere hanno un certo ammontare di lavoro e sono delicate.

Posso solo divertirmi a fotografare, sono troppo preziosi per essere usati e tante memorie conservate dentro i pacchi. Mia nonna non c’e’ più, ma la sua eredita’ ci sara’ sempre.